You may, or may not have heard of the psychological phenomenon -
self-fulfilling prophecy?
If you haven't don't worry, it's a super simple concept which basically means that you become what you think about.
For example, I used to be really clumsy.
I mean really clumsy.
I would walk into tables which have been in the same place for years, walk into door frames that have always been in the same place and even headbutt doors while sneezing!
In fact, the bruising was so noticeable it had some quite funny unintended consequences...
One summer, early on in my retail career I was having a particularly bad hay-fever season.
I'd banged my head numerous times while sneezing, fallen down the stairs and was also combating the frequent nose-bleeds which occur as the inside of the nose dries out from all the blowing.
After running past the store manager one particular evening with a tissue shoved up against my nose things took a very strange turn when I next came in a few days later.
Before going onto the shop floor I was asked to go to the store managers office.
As I opened the door, there's another lady sitting there.
She's introduced as a HR person from head-office.
I immediately thought I was getting sacked, even though I hadn't done anything wrong, but why else would she be there?!
As I sat down, the store manager explains that they're concerned about me, my bruises and my bleeding nose.
I explained what was happening.
They looked at each other, then she said softly; 'You can trust us to help you if your partner is doing this.'
I looked back, utterly confused...
Matt?
Doing what?
It's a medical condition...?
Then I got it.
They thought he was abusing me!
I started laughing, they looked offended but eventually let me go.
I headed into the toilets still chuckling to myself.
As I came out of the cubicle I noticed the HR lady washing her hands, then just as I went to fully open the door and walk through I sneezed and smashed my head against the door.
She just stared at me.
As though I was something that you hear about but don't quite believe.
Like I was a unicorn or leprechaun or something.
She shook her head and said 'You really are just clumsy aren't you?'.
That was that.
But the thing was, for years, I accepted that I was this clumsy person.
I accepted and joked about how I was an 'expert stairs faller' I had done it that many times...
Oh and if you're wondering, don't reach for the banister, tuck everything in and protect your head. Doing this means you'll make it to the bottom bruised but without broken bones #yourewelcome
Anyways, I completely accepted this part of my persona and every-time I did something which fit this narrative it made it stronger.
I was proving to myself over and over that this is the truth of who I am.
Then after learning about self-fulfilling prophercy at University I decided I was not a clumsy person.